When the unthinkable happens, and you can't think...

I'm sharing a free checklist today that will be the one you never want to pull out, but will be the one that you might need the most.  You can download it here and it's called The Celebration of Life Checklist.

In 2012 my darling Dad passed away suddenly from a brain aneurysm caused by the medication he was on.  Whilst he was a spiritual man, he was not a religious man and true to his always inquisitive nature, he had decided long ago, to donate his body to science when he no longer needed it.

The first is always the worst, but they never get easier.

Adding to shock and sadness of losing my beloved Dad was the stress and blankness I felt when it came to arranging his memorial service.  I was in the middle of a massive event plan and while I could some-how just black out what just happened to get on with work, I really struggled to figure out what I needed to do for his memorial.  If your loved one's wishes are for a traditional service, the funeral home will most likely make all the arrangements for you, and you simply tell them what you and your loved ones want, but what if like my Dad (and subsequently my Mum) those traditional methods don't apply?

I took on the responsibility of planning the service but having never planned anything like this ever in my life, it was hard.  There were so many other things to think about from inclusions, what the program looked like, the location, the post service gathering, how to publicise it and so much more. 

I started by driving out to the park where we had decided to hold the service.

From there I just started writing notes, asking myself questions, and thinking about what all the people that might come along, would want included.  I thought about my Dad and what a humble shy man he was, and how much he would hate any fanfare. 

But then there's my Mum who wants to celebrate everything, and needed to be surrounded by love, joy and happiness.  It all came together and we had a beautiful service surrounded by so many family and friends. The post service gathering was a beautiful event to celebrate my Dad and all the beautiful things that made him amazing.  

After that day, I thought maybe I might become a professional who supports families through end of life celebrations, but I decided no - it takes a special person to be able to hold space for loved ones in those times.

So I hope this checklist helps you when you need it and while it's not comprehensive (or commercial) I'm sure it will give you a window of light when everything else has turned to grey.  Once again, you can grab it here and feel free to share it if you feel the need.

It would be my darling Mum's birthday today and I miss them both everyday.